It has been hectic, stressful, sad, and a calm resolve all rolled into one. The last thing I need now is a new suitcase. The old one has seen it’s last road trip across the continent and can’t make another one. I leave late Monday night, early Tuesday morning. I’m not entirely sure what’s at the end of this new road. But all the pieces have fallen in line to go this way. It is quite incredible.
But it is over 2,000 miles away and none of my family members live nearby. My oldest nephew asked: “You’re leaving us again?!” I don’t see it this way exactly. At this point, my savings are depleted, there’s not enough work in my field here, so I have to go to where the work is (which is not where I want it to be all the time). My hopes are, the industry will be more prevalent there. I don’t know how else to explain it. 😦
Well, it will be a few more weeks, typically, before I potentially get news on the status of my screenplay submissions. I will be a lot closer to the heart of the film industry. Four-hour drive or one-hour flight to LAX. My handful of contacts are still in and around that area.
Yes, the same area that’s been having stronger earthquakes the passed couple of weeks, which a family member reminded me of. How I see it, there is no place on Earth that’s really “safe”. Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, blizzards, it’s a wonder the human race has lasted this long. Blessing.
Living is more than breathing, being safe. In order to feel “alive” you have to be involved in doing what you love to do while you’re breathing. So, being closer to my goal, I feel a type of excitement I can’t get any place else. 😦 Best case scenario, I will be able to fly my family out there to visit me if I’m very successful.
When I was growing up, everyone was close to home. No one really ventured out to see different parts of the East Coast let alone the other side of the continent or the rest of the world. I wanted to explore, craved adventure, “we’re out to discover!” I just didn’t think I would do it alone.
Last time, after three years, I came back to Florida. Partially, home sick. Partially, exhausted from college studies. But everything’s the same…and completely different. Everyone’s living their life, maturing, getting older, moving on. I began to feel out of place again. Now, after two years of being back, I think: maybe this isn’t where I’m supposed to be. Maybe my home is some place else. 😦 It’s difficult to explain it to others when I don’t fully understand it myself.
I’ll be on the road over two days. Atlanta, Dallas, Flagstaff, so on. Traveling like this helps me realize that our country really isn’t over-populated. Everyone simply lives near the coast or huddled together in inner cities. Huge sections of the U.S. are nothing but dusty roads and plains of grass. Very few live there and who would want to with this type of scenery. 🙂
I can feel the look: “Eric, do you really know what you’re doing?” No, I don’t. I don’t see the steps ahead of me. I only see enough to walk one step at a time. Beyond that, my faith in God fills in the rest. He has to have a plan of some kind that reveals the reason behind my insistence to keep going.
So, I won’t explain it or justify it or pretend that I’m not asking myself the same question. I just feel like this is what I’m supposed to do. I’ll see what happens next.
Eric Christopher Jackson